Delayed Gratification

When we are chasing after a goal or following a plan there are many things going on in that process. We might be adjusting our strategy to execute the plan, or training certain skills to better ourselves. However, there is one thing that I want to talk about in this post that we could all improve on as we are chasing our dreams. That is: to remember to practice delayed gratification.

Delayed gratification was first introduced to me by my high school band director. He was teaching us how delayed gratification directly related to our development of a marching show throughout our competitive season.

We would practice the show little by little every single day, sometimes even on weekends, until it was time to compete at the big UIL Marching Band Competition. My director knew how much time and dedication was required to receive the highest score a band could get at these competitions. He knew that not all of us students would really understand the point of why we practiced so much.

His solution was to teach us about delayed gratification. He taught us that in order to reach our desired goal, we have to be willing to put in the required effort to reach it. The process may not always be fun, but the feeling of gratification that we would receive once we achieve our goal would be well worth it. We had to be willing to work hard and not expect an immediate reward for it.

Having Patience

Working hard and not expecting anything in return is not always easy. We live in a fast-paced society where we see something and then we want it instantly. I've, personally, been trying to break away from that mindset for a great majority of this year. A lot of the goals that I set for myself are going to take some time for me to complete.

This will require for me to really work on having patience and being satisfied with the life I am living right now. Some people might disagree and say that having that attitude will make me stagnant and I understand that too. However, I do believe that having gratitude for the things you currently possess will help in building more patience as we are striving for the things that we desire.

Notice I said "striving for" instead of "wait for". If we are waiting for our dreams to come true, then that is what will have us living a stagnant life. Waiting for something to happen will leave you exactly where you are for much longer than you'd like. I am a firm believer of going after the things you want. They may not always turn out exactly as you planned, but at least you are doing something.

Patience is not a trait that everyone just naturally has. It is a skill that must be developed. I would consider myself a pretty patient person, however, I know myself well enough to realize when I need to be still and have more patience. I have learned to trust in God more and understand that his plan for me is the best plan. If I have to continue to work for my minor goals little by little as I wait for God's perfect plan to unfold, then that is what I will do.

The Reward

The reason, I believe, our gratification must be delayed is because we often get hooked on the dopamine that comes with it. If I were to be rewarded every time I complete a blog post (which would honestly be nice), then I would eventually lose sight of my end goal and not write as much as I should.

Some people might not agree to that last sentence, but I just know myself. It really comes down to your own personal journey towards your goals. For me, it is more important to build some sort of consistent writing schedule in order to keep up with my process. Maybe throwing in a reward here and there when I cross a milestone would be beneficial, but too much reward will definitely make me lose sight of my end goals.

The big reward is actually achieving your goal. That is what we want to remain focused on along the way, not the ice cream you decide to get for yourself for completing another day of practice in your desired skill.

Delayed gratification is a good thing to practice and it doesn't have to make you feel miserable. We have to remember that the end goal isn't necessarily the end. Once we achieve our goals, there is still more to do with life. And we still be happy with life as we are striving for our goals.

I know this is such a burnt out phrase, but it truly is more about the journey than the destination. We must remember to have fun as we are going after our dreams. It can be quite dangerous for our mental health if we attach happiness to only our biggest achievements.

As I close out this post, I want to encourage everyone reading this to don't give up on your goals. Find happiness in the present moments and joy in the journey towards your goal rather than the goal itself. That is something I will work on for myself as well.

Until the next post.

Jefferson K. Coe