Ending the Year with Trust

Where do I start?

I recently stated in a previous blog that I was on the path to becoming a teacher. Well that path is rapidly coming to an end because I have almost crossed the finish line.

Except this doesn't really feel like a finish line. More like a checkpoint in an ever continuing race. See the real work is only just beginning.

A year ago today I would've never thought that I would be getting ready to become a teacher. However, when I finally began to surrender control of my life over to God, I had to learn to trust Him. A year ago today, I was still looking for job positions in places and companies that did not want me. Trying to force myself in environments that were never destined for me.

Of course I didn't know that at the time, but now I thank God that He has guided me into a new direction. He shifted my focus towards a new path.

Ever since deciding to become a teacher, everything seems to have been lining up perfectly. Even when there were moments when I was unsure if I was even going to make it into the Alternative Certification program, God still came through. Not only have I been learning to trust in Him but I have also been learning to never doubt Him. You cannot trust anything or anyone if you still have doubt lingering in the back of your mind.

Mental Health Checkup

Now, I am not battling doubt that I have for God, but doubt that I have for myself. I have worked my butt off to make it this far and finally get certified to teach, but I can't help to wonder if I am really ready.

It has been a year and a half since I officially graduated from college. After graduation I found myself in different part-time jobs, applied to multiple full-time jobs, did a lot of self-reflection, and finally came to the conclusion that I wanted to go into education. During that time, my confidence and self-esteem definitely took a hit.

I was lost and uncertain about my future. For the first time in my life I really had to choose what was my next step in life and that was scary. It seemed like everything I came up with was not working, every job I applied for was not falling through. I even found myself in the third interview stage of one application process and still did not land the job.

All of that was taking a toll on my mental health and I will tell anybody that the end of 2022 was one of my lowest points. I was struggling bad and no one could see it because the battle was in my head.

Now I find myself here basically being handed a job as a new teacher and the horrors of the year before are still haunting me. Trying to convince me that I am not ready, that I am not worthy.

I know better now. I know not to listen to that inner doubt because my trust in God has gotten me this far and He can give me the assurance I need to overcome any mental challenge I may face. God is the creator and ruler of all things. He knows what I can and can't handle. That's why I need to remember that this teaching career is for me because God is giving it to me.

Moment of Gratitude

As I am going into the holidays to celebrate and end off this amazing, transformational year, I can't think of anything to do but to thank God for getting me this far.

He showed me a purpose at a point in my life where I was beginning to question my reason for being. God is the only reason why I am still moving forward, why I am still finding excitement in the future. I realize now that I am not living for me because I am living for Him.

For some reason, He has chosen me to take this path into the education career field. I don't know why just yet, but I am going to obey His every command. I can't do this without Him.

I am happy to be ending this year at the place that I am mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. I may not know what God has in store for me, but it can only be good because He is good.

Now I am going to enjoy the holidays with my family, rest up, prepare for my new journey, and continue to trust in God. Thank you Father for everything you do.

Until the next post.

Jefferson K. Coe